[ CASE FILE: THE SOCIAL HORMONES ]
"A popular article says social life runs on two hormones. Oxytocin is the trust protocol that switches off social anxiety. Testosterone is the status protocol. Balance both — through eye contact, a deep chest voice and a firm handshake — and you become a charismatic leader.
Oxytocin and testosterone really do affect social behaviour. But is oxytocin really a trust spray? Does testosterone make people aggressive? And can a handshake change your hormones?"
Section 1: What does oxytocin actually do?
Oxytocin is a hormone made in the hypothalamus. Its best-proven jobs are physical: it triggers contractions during labour and the milk let-down reflex during breastfeeding.
In the brain, oxytocin is involved in bonding between parents and babies and between partners, and in paying attention to social cues. Warm touch, hugs and close contact are associated with its release, although this is hard to measure in everyday life.
The effects depend on context and the person. In some people and situations, oxytocin increases closeness; in others it increases envy or wariness (Bartz 2011). In one experiment, oxytocin made people more cooperative with their own group — but also more defensive toward outsiders (De Dreu 2010). It is not simply a "love hormone".
Section 2: Is oxytocin the "trust hormone"?
That idea is mostly based on one famous study that did not hold up well.
In 2005, people who received an oxytocin nasal spray trusted a partner with more money in an investment game (Kosfeld 2005). But a critical review found that attempts to repeat this result mostly failed, and concluded that the link between oxytocin and trust is not reliable (Nave 2015). Many nasal-spray studies were too small to give trustworthy answers (Walum 2016).
Nasal sprays sold online to "increase trust" or "reduce social anxiety" have no good evidence behind them.
What does help: close, supportive relationships. In one study of 404 adults, people who received more hugs and social support were less likely to get sick when exposed to a cold virus under stress (Cohen 2014). Across 148 studies, people with stronger social relationships had about 50% better odds of survival over the follow-up period (Holt-Lunstad 2010).
Section 3: Does testosterone make people aggressive or dominant?
Only weakly, and it depends on the situation.
- •Aggression. A large meta-analysis found only weak links between testosterone and aggression in people (Geniole 2020).
- •Fairness. In one experiment, women given testosterone made fairer offers in a bargaining game. But women who believed they had received testosterone acted less fairly — the myth itself changed behaviour more than the hormone (Eisenegger 2009).
- •Status. The "dual-hormone" idea says testosterone is linked to dominance only when cortisol is low (Mehta & Josephs 2010). A meta-analysis found only marginal support, with very small effects (Dekkers 2019).
Testosterone does play a role in competition and seeking status, but it is one factor among many — not a switch for confidence or charisma.
Section 4: What actually changes testosterone?
Your life situation and health matter more than posture or voice tricks.
- •Relationships and fatherhood. Men who became fathers and were involved in childcare showed larger drops in testosterone (Gettler 2011). Hormones follow social roles, not only the other way round.
- •Sleep. One week of sleeping about 5 hours a night lowered daytime testosterone in young healthy men by 10 to 15% (Leproult 2011).
- •Age, weight and illness. Levels slowly decline with age; obesity, type 2 diabetes, some medicines (such as opioids) and serious illness are linked to lower levels.
- •Posture. "Power poses" did not change testosterone or cortisol in a larger replication study (Ranehill 2015).
Section 5: Should you test or boost your testosterone?
Only with a doctor, and only if you have symptoms. Low testosterone is diagnosed when there are clear symptoms (such as low sex drive, erection problems or loss of body hair) and repeated low morning blood tests (Bhasin 2018). Testosterone treatment without a diagnosis can suppress your own production and fertility and has other risks.
"Testosterone booster" supplements sold online are generally not supported by good evidence, and anabolic steroids are harmful.
Myth-check:
- •"High testosterone plus high oxytocin makes a charismatic leader." — There is no study showing this.
- •"Eye contact triggers mirror neurons and oxytocin." — Not established in people.
- •"A deep chest voice resonates with the vagus nerve." — No evidence.
- •"Oxytocin spray reduces social anxiety and builds trust." — Early findings did not replicate.
Section 6: Can ONDA measure these hormones?
No. ONDA does not measure oxytocin, testosterone or social behaviour.
With an Apple Watch, ONDA reads heart rate variability (HRV), resting heart rate and sleep data from Apple Health. Sleep is one of the strongest everyday influences on testosterone, so sleep trends are worth watching. ONDA also offers guided breathing practices that can help you calm down before a stressful conversation.
Section 7: When should you see a doctor?
See a doctor if you have signs of low testosterone (low sex drive, erection problems, loss of body hair, unexplained tiredness or low mood), before taking any testosterone or "booster" product, or if women notice new excess hair growth, acne or irregular periods, which can be signs of high androgen levels.
Also seek help if loneliness, social anxiety or relationship problems last for weeks and affect daily life — talking therapy works well for these.